Dates in the summer of '05 to remember...

• Wednesday June 29: left NY 5:12am; arrived at camp 7:15pm. It's only supposed to be a 9 hour drive.
• Wednesday, July 6: saw Ed for the last time although we didn't know it then; they were expected back the 16th.
• Saturday 9: Paul arrives for 2 weeks
• Tuesday 12: sent Mom & Dad to Boston
• Tuesday 12, midnight: FIL & his wife arrive in Bangor, an hours drive away
• Thursday 14: Heartwise party & Mario's birthday
• Saturday 16: Ed died
• Sunday 17: Mom & Dad returned from Boston
• Thursday 21: drove to Boston & back for Ed's funeral
• Tuesday 26: apparently Molly the housecleaner has quit.
• Friday 29: Past Kiwanis Governors arrive ( 11 people)
• Saturday August 6: Class of 1985's 20th Class Reunion
• Friday 12: ACLS crew arrives for the weekend
• Tuesday 16: kids & I go to Bar Harbor for the day!
• Thursday 18: go to Burlington, VT for the District Kiwanis Convention
• Sunday 21: back to NY *sigh*

written July 27. Events happened 7/12 - 14/05.

I can't believe July is almost over. Where'd my R & R go? Tuesday 12, my sister Maggie & I went up to Wyman's(close family friends for generations) camp to see John(Ed's son on law) & to get the latest scoop on Ed while the kids played. He said Ed might not last the week. So we go home & tell Dad to put down his scotch, grab some clean undies & GO TO BOSTON. To my surprise, he does. HOLY SHIT. I am so relieved he didn't get all stubborn & "I have so much to do"-ish. Mom left menu directions for her Heartwise(her cardiac rehab program) party. 70 people coming to dinner Thursday & I'm suddenly Head Chef. OMG.


My brother Greg arrives Thursday too, with his son Ben. Then Friday & Saturday *everybody* else (sister Tammy, BIL John, cousin Susan w/daughters Sarah & Danica, nephew Josh, niece Karin w/dh Marc, Aunt Mary & Uncle Gordon, cousins Steve & Karla, brother Bruce & SIL Vanessa) arrives.


I tell Maggie the best help is to keep the kids in line - they can help make beds & keep the other camp clean. I can handle the food if left alone. Haha - I had a question about the jello salad - when to add the cranberry? Woops - I was supposed to have added it before it started jelling. OH WELL. It still worked fine.

The hardest part was Janet (1 of mom's cardiac nurses - the nurses are part of mom's 'work crew' to put this shindig on - too bad they had to work all day!) arriving at 3pm with frozen bread dough. TURBO THAW, RISE & BAKE. Shoved them in a low oven w/a pan of water beneath & prayed. I watched in agony as she sssllooowwwwlllllyyy cut up veggies for a salad.

I told Bob who set up the tables & roasted the 80 lb pig, that I'd be ready by 7pm. The pig was ready at 7:15 & so was I!!! He knows me so well, lol. The bread rose, I shaped it, slit the tops, splattered egg beater on the tops (the others were so impressed w/this extra touch, lol) & shoved them into the ovens. While they baked, I jumped in the lake, washed my hair, & changed. ZOOMZOOMZOOM. Pulled them out, sliced them up & voila! 12 loaves of bread & DINNER IS ON!!!!!!!

I was pounding beers like never before. Being totally silly so I don't flippen collapse. Everybody was so shocked that mom & dad weren't there. The nurses were considering NOT doing their show. I said don't be silly.

Howard Kesseli ( a dear patient, friend & fellow Kiwanian) didn't come because his cancer is catching up with him. So sad, it would have been his last party.

Some kids asked to go in the lake. I said if there's an adult watching you. They said he was 14. I said no way. They said they found a parent. I figured if a parent was there, it was ok. Apparently, the storm(there had been a massive monsoon/thunderstorm) wasn't so far away & Maggie was keeping our kids out of the water & they were pissed that these other kids were swimming. Then I find out that there wasn't a parent down there - she was under the pentagon listening to Maggie saying no. And it was Nina's(mom's sec'y) maternity leave replacement!!!! Bitch.

80 lbs. of pig: POOF. GONE. Not everybody got some (me & Chip - BIL - Maggie's dh) **Chip was in bed cuz he had seriously wiped out slipping on the wet grass** I heard something about some people going back for 2nds before everyone had gotten 1sts???Hard to imagine but I wasn't monitoring THAT. Other people cleaned up, too!!!

It was a Judy-less (mom) success. Maybe I should start a business......?

Speaking of which.....

Wednesday, July 20

Totally fucked up summer. Mike Taylor showed up tonight. He's an old friend of the family that we haven't seen in a long time.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Finished 3rd Sisterhood. Dad talked to Ed & his son, Eben. Ed wants Dad there with him before he dies. Dad's going Friday. I hope he gets there in time. I cannot fathom that Ed is not coming back. I am going to a funeral this summer. I'll stop crying next lifetime. Maybe.

Thursday 7/8/05

Rebecca skied, Abby cooked, I bled. Ouch. Started 2nd Sisterhood.

Wed. pm 7/7/05

Finished Sisterhood 1. Didn't sleep. I wasn't expecting someone to die of cancer when I started this book. It reminded me of Ed(Wyman, dad's best friend since they were 5) & also of Kristen Hemm(a friend who died of brain cancer when we were 22). I wasn't expecting a forbidden summer love w/secret sex. Like me & Eben, so many years ago. I wonder if his friends knew what was going on in the top bunk just above them. They were built in & secure so maybe not. Maybe adolescent Eben didn't brag to his friends that he was getting some. Yah right.

Totally tormented. Cancer SUCKS.

Hurricane Katrina

I've been watching The Weather Channel in horror. I knew it was coming but somehow SEEING the damage is still shocking. Please join me everybody in praying for everybody in the area whose houses are being blown to bits & flooded out, pray the Superdome roof holds out, pray the electric company can make the repairs in good time (the prediction is 1 month w/out power), pray for everybody in Katrina's path. OMG, Mother Nature can be awe inspiring. Let's pray.

I read a lot of books this summer.

Strange Fits of Passion, Anita Shreve. Disturbing. About a guy who abuses his wife, she leaves & sets up a new life but he finds her.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Ann Brashares. This one completely mucked me up. I cried & cried & CRIED. It touched on a lot of issues that I've dealt with & also it was read at the most stressful time of the summer.

The 2nd Summer of the Sisterhood, Ann Brashares. A good read but didn't hit home the way the 1st one did.

Girls in Pants - the 3rd Summer of the Sisterhood, Ann Brashares. My 14 y.o. niece says this was her favorite. My only comment was it doesn't work out as well as you'd think or hope. Not terribly realistic but a good read.

The Rapture of Canaan, Sheri Reynolds. Very interesting story about a girl in a Quakerish (?) community who gets pregnant. I wonder if it based on something real. Is fiction ever truly fiction?

To Be A Slave, Julius Lester. Fascinating. Actual stories from former slaves. I was expecting more gruesome stories .

Ellen Foster, Kaye Gibbons. An abused girl in the south...with an awesome ending.

4th of July, James Patterson. EASY FUN READ. Refreshingly simple & quick. Interesting, too, lol.

2nd Chance, James Patterson. Of course it was good.

Note: Patterson's 'Women's Murder Club' mysteries are 1st to Die, 2nd Chance, 3rd Degree & 4th of July and all feature Lt. Lindsay Boxer & her 3 close friends, one of whom is nicknamed Jilly Bean. ;)

I have several others that I have started with every intention of finishing:

The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln, C.A. Tripp. BAH, who cares if Lincoln was gay? I didn't read what the book was about when I bought it. I thought it was going to be more of a hostorical biography of his childhood, Laura Ingalls Wilder-ish, lol.

America's Women: 400 Years of Dolls, Drudges, Helpmates & Heroines, Gail Collins. Fascinating but kind of long & slow. It's history, not a novel! But it's great & enjoyable reading.

Fortune's Rocks, Anita Shreve. My 2nd time through this which is why it's on the unfinished list. I love reading her books. Set at the turn of the century about a girl coming of age. Enjoyable.

The Case For Faith, Lee Strobel. A gift from my sister. It seems like it will answer many of my questions but I needed a break from religion so it got set aside for now.

Decoding DaVinci, Amy Welborn. I couldn't get into it. Don't care anymore. Gimme a NOVEL.

A Virtuous Woman, Kaye Gibbons. This is what I was reading when I left camp a full week ago. It's been a bit hard to get into; difficult to follow at times but I'm not done yet....

Whew. Then there's the books I never opened... no, I'm not listing those, lol!! Nite all!!

The trip north...

Got going at 5:12 AM on Wed. June 29. YAY ME! The car felt way overloaded as usual. Made good time. Got to the Mass Pike around 8 & called Debbie. Got to the restaurant about 8:15 & waited. I met DebbieBitch!!!!!!! It's kind of weird meeting someone you know. Ate, babbled, kids think I'm nuts. Some guy walks in asking, "Who's from NY?" (uh, me) "Well, your tire's low." Piss. Shit. Fuck. Damn. Not low - flat. Cross the street & put air in it. Doesn't feel good driving. BTW, it was a 1 1/2 hour bfast. Left again at 10:30. I find a gas station - no tires. I'm sent *another* few exits(fortunately in the right direction) to Sears. @ hours & $300 later, I have a sparkly set of new tires. It's 1pm and I'm still in Mass. But, I powershopped for a martini book & at Bath & Body Works. Got a $30 white handbagfor $10 at Sears, too. :) Zoomed along on my new tires. I stopped in NH at the liquor store & blew $300 on booze. I might even have the makings of a good martini. Nyuk nyuk nyuk. I made it to camp around 7pm. Fried.

Mood Ring Generator...kinda nifty

Your Mood Ring is Magenta

Weird Creative Insipired Thriving

Mood Ring Generator

Spring 2005

What a blur. Rebecca had 1st Communion the 1st weekend of May, the next weekend was *something*, the next weekend the girls & I were off to NH for my niece's bridal shower, and the last weekend, Memorial Weekend (aka Ribs'n'Ritas in my family), was also in NH - back we go.

June zipped by equally as fast then suddenly it was the last week. My parents arrived, my nieces arrived, Rebecca left school 2 days early & we all headed back to NH for THE wedding. The wedding was awesome. The party was awesome. I love my family.

My kids (and a bunch of their cousins) headed for the lake (my parent's home on Sebec Lake, Bowerbank, ME). DH & I went back to NY. The only time this year I didn't drive, lol. The plan was I'd get the house in order & head up to camp in a few days. I did NOT like my time alone & shoved stuff into the car as quick as I could & headed out at 5:12 am Wednesday. What a day THAT turned out to be....

Coli-isms revisited

• hostibal = hospital
• meatbulbs = meatballs
• heppycopter = helicopter
• Bucks Clove = Bucks Cove (part of Sebec Lake, where we spend our summers)
• eggmug = eggnog
  

Daily OM

I get this nifty email each day with oftentimes good ideas. Nothing terribly Earth shattering but simple commonsense that we sometimes need gentle reminding of. In the wake of chatting with a dear friend who I haven't heard from in a very long time who has had a very rough time of it, I decided to share today's Daily OM....

August 23, 2005
Steps In The Right Direction
Tools For Balance

The drive to improve oneself and one's life is never ending. Therefore, it can be helpful to have useful tools for general, everyday improvements in life. Whatever your need for change and whenever it arises, open your toolbox and integrate one or more of these tools into your life.

Each day, ask the universe how you may be of service.

Because all people are intimately connected with the universe at large, we both work for it and benefit from it. When you give to the universe with positive intentions, you naturally reap abundance. Instead of waiting for opportunities to be of service to present themselves, ask what service you may provide. Ask each morning upon waking or meditating. Be assured the universe will ask nothing more of you than that which you are equipped to give.

Cook with intention and bless all you consume.

The life force and that which nourishes the spirit is closely intertwined with what take into our bodies. A Zen tale tells us to see the pot as our head and the water as our blood. The art of cooking involves preparing foods mindfully and projecting positive energy into what we eat. And part of bringing out the life force is showing loving respect for the labor involved in the cultivation and preparation of food. Speak a simple blessing over your food before every meal to reinforce your connection with the circle of life.

Do unto others.

Promoting unselfish love in your life involves expressing spontaneous and unprovoked kindness toward all people. Pleasant and gracious behaviors feed the soul of the giver and the recipient, who will often respond with similar kindnesses. Treat others how you wish to be treated with simple gestures like a smile, an offer of assistance, a please or thank you, or gift. Taking the time to be kind will make your life and the lives of others more enjoyable and fulfilling.

Take time to center yourself daily.

Both in times of strife and in times of calm, remember to direct your focus inward for a few moments each day. Pay attention to your body, determine where you are retaining tension, and let it go. Breathe deeply, close your eyes, and slip into a brief period of meditation. Allow yourself to be stabilized and strengthened by the earth's energy. When you have found a calm place, open your eyes and offer gratitude before continuing your day.

Take time to enjoy the community of others.

Fellowship is a joyful part of being alive, though easy to neglect is this busy world. Make time to spend with close friends or people who share your interests. Talking to a special friend can be therapeutic while gathering in a group can be a potent stress reliever. Remember, shared joys are increased while shared pain is lessened.

I am personality disordered. But y'all KNEW that.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

Heh heh heh. I'm off to hell. Anybody wanna join me?

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Third Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test